Fans of stories about sports and religion (and sex, I guess) this is your lucky day.

The tabloid stars at The New York Daily News have managed to cram what may be a record number of bad puns and petty shots into a new report on the alleged end of the rumored dating relationship between Tim Tebow and former Miss USA.

There are, however, two pieces of serious information that you will not find in this designed for clickbait report. Hold that thought.

Let's start with the obligatory snark attack headline:

Tim Tebow still can’t find the end zone as girlfriend Olivia Culpo breaks it off over lack of sex

And into the story itself. Can you predict the potential family-newspaper-level puns for this sports and religion report?

For once, it's not Tim Tebow who's having trouble scoring -- it's his girlfriend.

Confidenti@l is told the QB's model squeeze Olivia Culpo has dumped him after a two-month relationship -- because he won't have sex with her. The former Miss USA, who was first reported to be seeing Tebow in early October, has told friends that she can't deal with the famously abstinent star's nookie-less lifestyle.